If you’re getting ready to prepare for a divorce, there’s a lot to consider. The first thing to do is picture what the process looks like for you — where do you want to be when the case is over? That’s always the starting point.
There are basic actions you can take right away to move forward and protect yourself.
1. Gather Your Financial Records
Get access to everything that shows what your assets and debts are: tax returns, bank statements, credit card statements, deeds to property, and similar paperwork. Once a divorce starts, these documents sometimes disappear, so you want to be sure you can still get to them.
You don’t have to hide anything from the other side. But whether you make copies or scan them, keep your own access — your lawyer is going to need that documentation.
2. Lock Down Your Devices and Accounts
Change the passwords on all of your electronic devices. You don’t want anyone else getting into your phone, your email, or your texts. Change the passwords on your social media accounts too, so no one can pull information from there.
Two bonus steps worth taking:
- Set up a new email address. No one else knows about it, and you can use it just for communications with your lawyer. You’ll always know exactly where those messages are, and you won’t have to dig through old emails and texts to find them.
- Get your own phone account. If you share an account and your spouse is the administrator, they can see who you’ve been texting and calling, who’s been contacting you, and even how long your calls last. At the beginning of a divorce, it’s nobody’s business who you’re communicating with — this is how you protect yourself.
3. Protect Your Digital Cash Accounts
If you use cash apps like Venmo or Cash App, lock them down and make your transactions private. A lot of people don’t realize that others can often see the money they’ve sent and received. You don’t want the other side knowing what you may or may not be doing with that money. You may have to disclose it later, but you don’t want to make it easy for them at the start.
What Financial Records Should You Collect?
Focus on tax returns, bank records, credit card statements, loan statements, and retirement account statements for the last few years. Include any other savings or accounts where you keep money.
If you can, gather your spouse’s information too — but stay within the law. Don’t go digging through private drawers for documents you don’t know are there, and don’t break into their computer or email. Under Michigan law, you are not permitted to access your spouse’s computer or email without explicit permission, and doing so could be illegal. Talk to a lawyer before taking any step like that.
Should I Open My Own Bank Account?
It’s usually a good idea, but be careful. Depending on where you open it, your spouse may get a letter or notice showing you’re doing business with a new bank. People often open a separate account to redirect a direct-deposit paycheck, but that can signal that something has changed and raise questions. Unless you have a strong reason, talk it through with your attorney first.
Should I Leave the Marital Home?
My standard answer is no — not until you’ve discussed your situation with an attorney. If you leave, it can be difficult to get back in later, and if children are in the home, it can change the whole status quo. Leaving too early can set a pattern that gets used against you. Unless there’s domestic violence or a specific safety reason, don’t move out before you know exactly what you’re doing.
Should I Tell My Spouse I’m Filing?
Absolutely not — not until it’s time to take action. Everyone thinks they know how their spouse will react, but that’s usually not how it plays out. Often the first thing a spouse does is run to their own lawyer to protect their interests. Time everything appropriately, which means having a plan for before you file, during the divorce, and after it’s concluded. Think it through, plan it, and talk it over with your lawyer so you know exactly what to do.
The Bottom Line
There are many other things to consider when preparing for divorce, but the key is to protect your privacy and your personal information. If you’re getting ready to take this step, talk with an experienced family law attorney before you make any moves — so every action you take is working in your favor.
Watch and Read More
Read the companion article on Substack: https://garrygreenberg.substack.com/p/how-do-i-prepare-for-a-divorce?r=xgepm
